The First Noel Or Novel

The Pump's resident novelist continues their tale

Les has one ambition but as the delectable Miss Jones refuses to cooperate he decides instead to write a best seller but finds it difficult to find the right material. He decides that he has only one choice; he must create his own and single-mindedly sets to work. He meets up with Anne who works as a Secretary to Ray Thompson, the suave, and sometimes sophisticated, Editor of the highly acclaimed Village Pump. Les, cunning and with thoughts only for himself, lures the delightful Anne to a clandestine meeting under Stoke Ferry Bridge. Locked in each others arms Anne and Les are oblivious to footsteps coming towards them, when suddenly they are faced with the dreaded local legend, The Stoke Ferry Rat.

Eventually all is quiet but a certain fear grips them both; just who owns the mysterious footsteps? And what is their purpose? What lies behind this legend of The Stoke Ferry Rat? Les quickly gathers his composure, Anne's feelings are not his primary concern. His thoughts must centre on one and one object only, the completion of his Best Seller. He pauses for a period of reflection lighting a Embassy No 1 to aid his concentration. His thoughts go back to his early years when he tendered the chaff, dug up the carrots at the farm at Methwold Fen and constantly applied for bit parts in Home and Away'; relentlessly pursued an ambition even his friends, yes both of them, were not aware of, to hold a position in Ken English's Post Office. Les is only too aware of the problems ahead; his search for material for his book must go on. His brow creased with concentration. He has that strange feeling that Stoke Ferry may well hold the key.

Just what, he wondered, do the married women of Stoke Ferry Women's Institute do when they have made their final jam tart, sung Jerusalem for the fifth time. Do they go to the men they love, or is it back home to their husbands? These questions and many, many more must be answered. Who knows what material could be lurking in the most unsuspecting places. Les kisses Anne goodnight; selfish as ever he allows her to find her own way home. He has to head back to Methwold. An early night must be the order of the day, for tomorrow the search must continue. The search to find the material which will fuel his ambition; the completion of his best seller.

Before retiring, Les needs to unwind and, as usual, he turns to his beloved Saxophone; intent on producing a few notes. He contemplates F sharp and B flat, but finally decides on a couple of £5's and one or two Tenners. The thought of a B flat brings back painful memories to him. It was in such a flat that the delectable Miss Jones spurned his advances, bringing to an end a relationship with the love of his life but the beginning, as it transpired, of his literary career. That night sleep came easily to Les, after such an eventful day.

Don't miss Page 4 of this thrilling trilogy, to be found only in the pages of the Village Pump.

The Author is available for interview under Stoke Ferry Bridge, but only to Ladies of a nervous disposition and Men wearing fishnet stockings.