The Hearing Aid

Les is bus-ing for you to hear his story

The other day off I went to Lynn Hospital to collect my hearing aid and what an enjoyable experience it was. First of all I left my super charged tin on wheels, which some people would call a car, I left it where all cars should be left, locked up in a garage. I have to confess I hate cars, but I like attractive Women. There is a difference! Cars are such wonderful things! You leave them in the garage overnight but with a Woman, you invite her in and that's where the story starts, not finishes.

So with the car taken care of, I hopped on the bus. The cost to Lynn from Methwold was £1-75 return, with my bus discount. Later I caught another bus from the Bus Station to the Hospital, which cost 90p return. Can you go by car to Lynn Hospital then back into Lynn for £2-65? It would cost you more than that for parking. On the bus to Lynn there was about 25 of us, and what a pleasant atmosphere. I even saw people talking to each other! You remember the days, I'm sure, when people talked to each other. Compare that to cars, with one or two people in them at the most, and looking as if they would be delighted if they dropped down dead at any minute. You don't agree with that? Well stop for a moment and see people in cars and what a cheerful bunch they look. Show me someone walking down the street and I'll show you a normal everyday person. Five minutes later they hop into a car and change into a flaming lunatic.

Arriving at the Hospital and waiting my turn I got talking to all and sundry. One dear Lady told me she was 81, she looked about 50, and she said, 'When my Husband stops looking at attractive young women I shall know he is dead'. I wondered if the Husbands attitude had much to do with his Wife looking 50 when she was really 81? I think it had. Then it was my turn to go in and meet this time a young charming Lady who sorted me out with my hearing aid. Asking me how it felt I said, 'I can hear a lot of heavy breathing', which I could. It was mine. When I told her this she said, 'If you come here again I'll either wear a longer skirt or throw a bucket of cold water over you'. It was that sort of day.

Then it was time to go back to the Bus Station. Then a short walk, a couple of bits of shopping and, of course, a pint of beer since I had no problems with drinking and driving. What's the moral of all of this? Well I agree I wasn't going to Hospital for anything serious, but I believe if you are friendly to people don't be surprise if most of them are friendly to you.

Les Lawrence