You Have To Smile

It's a funny old world

I have long considered that I have a sense of humour even if my friends, yes both of them, think it is somewhat warped. How I wish that I could wake up one-day, multi talented. If that happened, one thing I would turn my hand to would be cartooning; then my humour would know no bounds.

I have been reading recently that one third of our Church of England Clergymen don't believe in the Resurrection. Now this brought a smile to my face! Yes I agree at long last, because I could see a cartoon in this. My cartoon would show the Vicar in his Pulpit wearing all of his usual paraphernalia, just about to give his Sermon, and his first words are, 'You can believe all of this if you want to, but count me out'. Now I don't know about you, but I think that's funny.

Another one of my favourite cartoons, which again I would draw if only I could, would show a somewhat good looking young man laying on the beach in his swimming trunks. He is with his wife who is wearing a bikini and looking absolutely gorgeous. The young man has a smile of contention over his face, and above his head is a circle inside of which is a picture of the most ugliest woman you have seen, and he lays there dreaming of her, ignoring his lovely wife. Again I think that's rather good.

The whole point of humour is that if you are rather mad it helps. In addition to being a cartoonist, now being multi talented, I would also be a musician. Certainly being able to play the saxophone, also a vocalist, although I do realise I wouldn't be able to play the saxophone and sing at the same time, however multi talented I might be.

However, back to our Vicar friends who don't really believe in what they are being paid for. That really does appear to my sense of humour. It's like David Beckham saying I wouldn't bother with football it's a lousy game. If I had only known all about this in my insurance days how different things would have been. Imagine being in a person's house trying to sell hubby a policy, when the Lady of the House asks, 'Can you honestly recommend this policy to my Husband?' To which I would reply, 'if I were him I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole'.

A car salesman saying to a prospective buyer, 'what do you want to buy this car for? Why don't you use the bus like I do'. A Lady hairdresser, 'No I wouldn't have a perm, it looks a mess; leave it as it is'. A butcher saying to a somewhat bemused woman in his shop, 'don't ask me I never eat the stuff, I'm a vegetarian'.

Maybe I will never be multi-talented, or possess a sense of humour. I might just have to settle for being somewhat mad. Now just a minute you don't have to agree with that!

Les Lawrence