Second Time Around

Doctor or Vicar?

If ever I come this way again and, assuming I am then much more intelligent than I am now, what job will I do?. I have already made my mind up. It was a simple choice; either a Doctor or a Vicar, and the Vicar won. Being a Doctor is in my book not a very exciting job. You open your Surgery doors first thing in the morning and the next thing you know is that you are knocked to the ground by a incoming mass of people. Contrast this with our friend the Vicar who opens his Church doors looks out and there's not a solitary soul to be seen. There you are in the business of saving people and there is no one to save.

It is at this stage, however, that life as a Vicar becomes exciting. He, or she, has a Church but hardly anyone in it, but all is not lost. It's important as a Vicar to ask yourself 'Is the glass half empty or half full'? And of course it's half full. Who after all wants to have plenty of friends when you spend most of your time trying to get rid of them? Much more fun 'making' friends. Who wants to knock on the door of the delectable Miss Jones knowing before hand she will say yes to your every invitation? How much more exciting it is when you don't know the answer! It could be a definite No, and it could be a bucket of water from the bedroom window.

A Doctor, his Surgery full of people, asks, 'How do I get rid of this lot'?. Our dear Vicar, alone in his Church, asks a more exciting question. 'How do I get anyone in here?' Our Doctor, wearing a Marks and Spencer suit, plus tie, and black shoes, advises his patients: 'You've got the Mumps'. What a contrast to our Vicar, walking down the aisle resplendent in his flowing robes? His Congregation can't quite work it out. Is our Vicar about to start preaching or to take the part of a Lady in the next dance, which will be 'The Military Two Step'? No it's definitely a Vicars life for me but not full time, only part time. Because I also, when I come this way again, want to be a reincarnation of that marvellous Leonard Sachs who was the MC at the Leeds 'Palace of Varieties'.

On reflection I will be able to combine the two jobs and what better way to conclude a Service than to use those immortal words of Leonard Sachs, 'There's just time to ask our Indubitable and Indomitable Choir, our Ingeniously and Indefatigable Organist, but this time chiefly, Yourselves, in one last chorus of, 'The Old Rugged Cross'. Still who knows, I might finish up as a Politician. But how boring? Who wants to wake up one day and find you are John Major, or Edwina Currie, just what do they do all day long? Just sit around talking about joining that darn Euro I wouldn't wonder. No not for me. Move along Vicar, I'm a coming to join you.

Les Lawrence