Verbal Profundities

A collection of apposite expressions for the 21st century

Verbal Profundities of the Famous!

On Living..

Anything dropped in the bathroom falls into the toilet!

Paul Slone

We weren't hoping fop a boy or a girl, we were just happy to take pot luck!

Steve Davis

There were twenty kids in out family. You didn't dare put your tongue out or someone would stick a fork in it! Roy Brown

My aunt died at precisely 10.47 a.m. and the old grandfather clock stopped precisely at this moment also. It fell on her! Paul Merson

If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth! A.P. Herbert

On Love Sex & Marriage...

I have got small feet because nothing grows in the shade! Dolly Parton

One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour. M.M. Musselman

PMS means never wanting to say you are sorry! Diana Jordan

Men are creatures with two legs and ten hands! Jayne Mansfield

The other night I said to my wife, "Do you think the excitement has gone out of our marriage?" She said, "I'll discuss it with you during the next commercial!"

Milton Berle

Sex and death are two things that come once in a lifetime. Only after death you're not nauseous! Woody Allen

And on TV...

So they are going to show a man die on television; after Barry Norman, I don't think I could sit through it again! A.A. Gill

When I was presenting Cleudo on Television we had to turn over the studio audience in case they got bed sores! Chris Tarrant

The human race is faced with a cruel choice - work or daytime television!

Dave Barry

For those of you watching who haven't got TV sets, live commentary is on Radio 2!

David Coleman

I'm here to speak about Kirk Douglas's wit, his charm, his warmth, his talent - at last, a real acting job! Burt Lancaster

Anonymous