YES - THE CALENDAR

Les wonders if we should create a Village Pump calendar

This is the time of year when my thoughts go to buying a calendar for next year and to me this is a process that has to be treated with some caution; which wasn't the case years ago.

It all started a year or so ago when those Ladies from the W.I. decided to produce a calendar which featured some of the dear souls with no clothes on. Since then other people have jumped on to the bandwagon. In fact I have even given some thought to producing my own version.

With 12 months to the year it means that I would have to pose in 12 different positions and I put this to the test recently when I had a bath. I was anxious to discover what potential buyers of my calendar would be letting themselves in for. I found posing and at the same time glancing in to my bathroom mirror a somewhat arduous task. In fact it transpired that I fell over in March, April, and July, fortunately with my modesty still in tact.

Then of course there was the question of how best to deploy my bathroom loafer (sorry, loofah) as I am well aware that there are some sensitive souls about. Full scale nudity was therefore out of the question. I needed advice and with that I turned to a very dear friend of mine, the other one was away on holiday at Sheringham with his wife and dog! Well it's a wife he's with, it just happens to be someone else's, but then that's another story and let's hope a darn sight more interesting than this one.

However I digress. My dear friend has a way with cameras and I wanted to discuss with him such technical aspects like minimum exposure, subdued lighting, and so on. Sadly my friend was unable to assist me. According to him, every time he tried to take a photo of me the bulb in his camera fused and suggested I stick to what I enjoy doing the most which is reading, which I do a lot of. One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how Desperate Dan, Popeye, and Olive Oil all still look as young as ever. It's incredible really.

Les Lawrence