The Cure

The Octogenrian's lament

From the Daily Mail Authur A.L.Lewis

The Cure

I go to see the Doc one day and say to him: 'Oh, by the way

I cannot bend, my shoes to tie, and the stiffness in my thigh makes it hard to leave my bed- and my arms won't go above my head!

He looks at me with a little grin and says: 'My what a state you're in,but what you say gives me a clue exactly what is wrong with you'.

Then, out he spouts a Latin name, Encyclopaedia Britannica sounds the same.

'To confirm this ailment it is best for you to give some blood to test'.

My blood they take, with just a tweak, and back again I go next week.

He says with a smile: 'Just as I thought, Polymyalgia Rheumatica'-I am fraught.

'Is polymy-whatsit hard to cure? I don't like it thats for sure'.

A course of steroids do the trick and I stop feeling weak and sick but this treatment has been known to cause the thinning of the bone,

so some calcium pills I have to take to prevent the tendency to break.

Then he says ,by way of conversation: 'I'll keep you under observation'.

So each month doth come and go then back one day he says; 'Hello-your blood test shows your sugar's high,'

'What does that mean ,Doc?'I reply.

And he responds, all sympathetic: 'I'm afraid that means you're diabetic. Not only that but, by the by, your cholesterol, too, is high.

But we'll control it all with pills and diet. Are you still there? My, you are quiet!

Now to stop you getting any fatter go to the clinic, have a natter'.

So then I'm interviewed and weighed and the nurse stars saying

'I'm afraid.....'. I shout;'Say no more, my goodness nurse,

things seem to go from bad to worse'

She says;' Come on now, do not fret, 'you're not the worst case that I've met.

We do our best and give you pills to make you better-ease your ills,

and ease your misery and pain. But you'll no doubt be back again

because there's never a guarantee- don't forget you're 83'.

Then, as I go towards the door, she says:'I'll bet you make it to 84!'

That is comforting to know- I've only two weeks to go!

via the Editor