October 2008 Newsletter

Our monthly Anclican Newsletter

Are men happier than Women?

Nicknames If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

Eating Out When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £10, even though it's only for £18.50. None of them will admit to having anything smaller and none will admit that they actually would like some change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

Bathrooms A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, soap and a towel.

The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man could not identify more that 20 of them.

Arguments A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything else a man has to say after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Future A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Success A successful man is one who earns more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who finds such a man.

Marriage A woman marries a man expecting that he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

Dressing Up A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone and get the mail.

A man dresses up for a wedding or a funeral.

Natural Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Offspring Ah children! A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Thought for the Day A married man should forget his mistakes. There is no point in two people remembering the same things.

I suspect these comments were made by a man. I can detect that they are from a particular standpoint and that from another standpoint observations would be different. Is everything relative?

It reminds me of one of the stories that Rev'd Alan Bennett liked to use in his sermons from time to time. Alan was Vicar of Stoke Ferry, Wretton and Whittington for several years up to the mid nineties.

He told of the dragonfly nymph living under water hanging onto a reed, who wanted a fellow nymph, getting ready to break open, to somehow let him know what it was like above the surface in the bright world out there above the reflective and mobile ceiling to their world. If they could think, what idea could the nymphs have of life in that upper world? What idea could they have of how changed they would be by breaking out and spreading the wings of which they have no concept while in their watery world?

This is a very obvious metaphor for the Christian idea of an extraordinary and beautiful Heaven in which they would themselves be changed beyond recognition (even with wings!). But it is not necessary to go so far. The metaphor is applicable to us all, regardless of our beliefs. Whatever we are now, we have no adequate conception of where we fit into a larger scheme of things. The Christian faith enables us to be very optimistic about this larger scheme of things - we really do have some understanding of what is above the surface. Unhappily for the nymph, no dragonfly ever came back to tell them what it was like. If a dead dragonfly floated down, they would not be able to recognize it is having been one of them. However, as Christians, we believe that have been given insight into what lies beyond by someone who knew what he was talking about.

Although Jesus was here on earth as a man, we do not believe that he was feminist or anti-feminist, or that he supported the concept of male superiority. The humorous, but unfair, comparisons with which this letter started are not going to be relevant in this more marvelous world above the surface of our watery world. Will there still be relativity or will everything be, in some way, absolute? We really do not know. Certainly the traditions that the Devil is a fallen angel, the reference in the Book of Revelation (the last book in the Christian Bible) that 'there was war in Heaven' seems are a little startling and disturbing. But the world of the dragonfly, although apparently marvelous compared from the quiet world from which he emerged as he broke the surface into the hot sun, is still a world of interest and conflict and achievement.

Taking metaphors too far is too easy. It is enough to know that we do have somewhere to rise up to, that it will be more brilliant that where we are now. It is good that we can have metaphors to enable these abstract thoughts to take some sort of shape in our minds.

Licensed Lay Minister

Keith MacLeod