LET'S CALL IT A TIE

Les has a ramble about wearing a tie and other light hearted chit chat

I suppose if you can't win then the next best thing is a tie, and I doubt whether I shall win this one. What am I on about? Well men not wearing ties. Switch on your TV and if you see someone not wearing a tie then they look to me as if they have just got out of bed; I'm far from impressed.

I sometimes wonder if I should wear a tie when I'm in bed such is my desire to wear one at every opportunity. Should anyone call at my house, well it's a bungalow really, but then who's counting, you can bet when I answer the door I shall be wearing a tie. Maybe on certain occasions nothing else but certainly a tie, guaranteed.

The other day I was talking to a very dear friend of mine and we were discussing how different some people are. We are not all the same. My friend, for example, when he got married went on his honeymoon to Scotland. His wife went to Glasgow and he went to Edinburgh; no I'm sorry I just made that up. Well it made me laugh anyway which tells you something if I don't quite know what.

Continuing this complete nonsense for a bit longer if I may, my friend was telling me that he first set eyes on his future wife in Downham Market and suggested he meet up with her under the clock at 7-30pm that night. "How will I recognise you?" she enquired. My friend responded by saying he would be wearing wellington boots and a red carnation, nothing else just, well you know. My friend concluded that he turned up with his wellington boots on his feet as you would expect, but was reluctant to tell me where he pinned his red carnation. What do you mean it's not a bit funny!

Back to reality if we must, can we conclude then that we are all different? I don't think we are. There are just two groups, people like me who are in the minority, and the rest who make up the majority. I have said many times of my dislike of Committees. I go along with the late, great, Sir Winston Churchill who once said that a Committee should consist of one! But there will always be Committees because that's the view of the majority. Enough of that, back to the jokes, yes that's what they were.

Two old men were pushing their trolleys round Tesco's when they collided. "Sorry", said the first old man. "I wasn't paying attention; I'm looking for my wife". "That's a coincidence", said the second old man, "I'm looking for my wife as well". "What does your wife look like?" said the first old man, and the second old man said: "Well she 21 years old, has red hair, blue eyes, long legs, a big bust, and she is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?" And the first old man says: "Forget her I'll give you a hand to find yours."

It's the way you say 'em.

Methwold

Les Lawrence