What Does The Doctor think for February

WHAT DOES THE DOCTOR THINK THIS MONTH?

Indian Newspapers

Usually, our trips toIndiainvolveGoaand I have previously shared with you extracts from  a local newspaper, the Navhindt Times, which is quite gentle and contains many quaint letters from enraged locals. This time, we travelled with our friends Nick and Dawn Guyer to many tea and coffee plantations in the mountains south of Bangalore and the newspapers available were much more heavyweight – The Hindu, The Deccan Chronicle, The Indian Express and The Times of India – and I have struggled to find lightweight and amusing content to share with you. However, I hope the following is of interest. Text in italics is lifted directly from the newspaper and will give you a flavour of local events, many of them from the darker side, and the quaint Colonial English used by the newspapers.

Operation Revenge An undertrial (malefactor accused of murder) in Muzaffarnagar suffered an accidental fracture to his arm while being taken to prison. The surgeon demanded 5,000 rupees (£62.50) for the surgery but the undertrial could not pay. The doctor got the wardboys to tie him down with ropes and belts and performed surgery without anaesthetic, the lad screaming and shouting. The boy's family created a ruckus at the hospital and demanded stern accusation against the doctor. The Orthopaedic surgeon rubbished the accusation. The sorry state of affairs at that hospital is an open secret. Ward boys and sweepers are giving injections and stitches and the generator has been out of action for some months, such that midwives are to be found engaged in the delivery of babies under candlelight.

Bus falls into gorge – 7 dead Seven were killed and 35 injured when a Tamil Nadu state transport corporation bus fell into a 70ft deep gorge after the driver lost control on bend. Fire and rescue personnel were rushed to the spot. This nearly happened to us a couple of days later!

On the installation of automatic ticket machines at Thiruvananthapuram main line station:

Soon, long queues in front of ticket counters will be a scene lost to time.

Parents held for honour killing The parents of a 25 year old girl were arrested. They had wanted their daughter to marry abroad but their daughter insisted that she was going to go away with a local man of different caste. The parents and their friend tried to dissuade her but, when she resisted, the friend struck her with a sharp-edged weapon, killing her on the spot. They later carried the body to the fields and changed the clothes. Later, the body was dumped on the roadside. They then drove the girl's scooter to the roadside and abandoned it there to create the impression that she had been killed in an accident. Later, when the stories differed and the police became suspicious, the parents paid a Rs 1.5 lakh (150,000 rupees = £2,142) bribe to get the case registered as accidental death. This failed, and the police recovered the bribe money, the weapon and the car used in the murder.

Man beaten to death with plough: A man was ploughing a piece of land which was subject to a property dispute. His three nieces, with whom he was in dispute, told him to stop ploughing. When he carried on, they picked up the plough and beat him to death.

From the Sunday Supplement Bridegrooms wanted: DOCTOR – GODFEARING PROTESTANT Christian UK resident and suitably qualified Groom for 24 years UK-based doctor

ALLIANCE INVITED from the Chief Commissioner of Customs and Central Excise for his only daughter from the IRS and IAS Officers only. Age around 28 years. She is good-looking and well qualified. Placed in high position in MNC

Fair, good-looking multi millionaire seeks multi-millionaire up to 45 years of age

32 year old lady, light-limping.Own House. Well settled seeks groom from Dr Eng Other Prof Qual.

Fair, good-looking multi millionaire seeks multi-millionaire up to 45 years of age

32 year old light-limping Own House `Well settled seeks groom from Dr Eng Other Prof Qual.

Mystery Murder was wife's plot: The wife (34) of f PKM.... allegedly conspired with her long-time paramour (31) to murder her husband whose body was found on Container Road_._ (Picture of accused and her paramour, both looking a bit pensive). They allegedly decided to Eliminate Mohandas (43) so that they could live together. They had been in love for 6 years and, on the fateful day, Mohandas left home and his wife asked him to dispose of some household wastage at a deserted location on Container road. He was to pick up her lover, Girish, en route. After covering some distance, Girish told him to stop the bike and tried to Chloroform him. Mohandas managed to evade him but Girish inflicted a deep injury on his neck with a knife. Girish then escaped on a bike he had previously secreted at the spot, leaving Mohandas to bleed to death. The conspiracy was so well planned that at first the cops thought it was a road accident, but the autopsy report confirmed otherwise.

**On a lighter note:**An old man was too old to dig his garden. He told his son, who was in prison, and the son wrote to him - “Dear Dad, don't dig the garden – that's where the bodies are buried”. The next day, a crowd of police arrived and dug over the entire garden, found no bodies, apologised and left.

Best wishes,   Ian Nisbet