What Does the Doctor think this month - October

A very sad message I took over the Feltwell practice when I was 31 years old, nearly 40 years ago, and I have had a wonderful life here with superb patients, very many of whom are good friends. Having retired from full-time practice in Feltwell ten years ago, it has always been a great joy for Deannie and me to meet old patients around the area; the bond of the doctor-patient relationship has led to a mutual fondness between me, Deannie and the patients and, over the past ten years, I have forged similar relationships with patients of the Boughton surgery during my three weekly sessions helping them out. I made it to 70 years old last October with never an illness and on no medication at all. Unhappily, this all changed early in June when I had a hip replacement which all went horribly wrong. As many of you will know, it dislocated twice during the first 3 weeks and needed a complete revision (take out the first artificial hip and replace it with another) after that time. The trauma of all that and the anaesthetics have left me with a fuddled brain and a perpetual tremor of the hands. The associated profound anaemia has been extremely debilitating but is resolving slowly. The upshot of all this is that it would be dangerous for patients if I to continued to practice medicine and, after enormous soul searching and long discussions with Deannie, I have retired from medical practice. This leaves me profoundly unhappy when I think of those Boughton patients who benefitted from seeing me over the past few years and I really feel that I am letting them down. However, there is no choice in the matter and I must leave and wish everyone well. Of course, in the way of life, there will be those who are glad to see the back of me and I also wish them well. Deannie and I have bought a house in Hagley in the West Midlands, near four of the children, and the move should be in the Spring, once the Old House has been sold. We shall sorely miss all our friends, activities and the Church but I am sure we shall be frequent visitors to this area. Ah, well, all is not misery and the jokes keep coming so here we go: A man bumps into an old high school friend he hadn't seen for a number of years. His old friend was notorious for bragging back in high school - about his possessions, achievements and relationships, so he wondered if much had changed in the time since he last saw him. It wasn't long before the man realized his old friend hadn't changed much at all - on and on he rambled, talking about his amazing job, his huge mansion and the new Porsche he'd just bought himself. At one point, the old friend pulls out a photograph of his wife and shows it to the man. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" the old friend asks. "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend," replies the man. "Why? Is she a stunner too?" "No, she's an optometrist." Two Irish nuns have just arrived to the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at her sausage in a roll for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously: "Which part of the dog did you get?” Ron's car was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and he was asked where he was going at that time of night. Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.” The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" Ron replied, "That would be my wife."

Best wishes to you all Ian Nisbet