WHAT DOES THE DOCTOR THINK THIS MONTH? February

Life is hectic at present, with the move to Worcestershire upon us. The other day, a removal van arrived for the first tranche of the process. I am convinced that the lorry was bigger than our new house. It swallowed up all of our furniture and much of our crockery, etc before spending ten minutes running its engine to “inflate its air” before trundling off. They met us at the new house next day and I was relieved that the contents fitted into the house which is now full of massive boxes of stuff which will need a serious “sort out”. Many people have told me that, when moving, they took all their “stuff”and then threw a lot away after arrival in the new property. Determined not to make this error, we have taken all our stuff and will throw it away after the move! It is 40 years and 5 months since the move to Feltwell to take over the practice and we have been accumulating stuff ever since. In truth, much has been thrown away, but not nearly enough! We shall be camping in The Old House for a month before we undertake the second and final tranche of the move – all the books, kitchen equipment, garden furniture and the contents of my workshop, etc. This is a time of seriously conflicting emotions – overwhelming sadness at leaving all our patients, most of whom have been great friends along the way, tempered by happy anticipation of being near so many of our children and grandchildren. Of course, we shall have to change our doctors. It will be a great sadness to say goodbye to our lovely friends and doctors at the surgery, all of whom have been absolutely brilliant, We are apprehensive about throwing ourselves at the mercy of the unknown doctors in Hagley. All the residents of our new estate have set up a WhatsApp communication system so I shall tap into that, asking for opinions about the local practices before we venture into a surgery.

Jokes to cheer us up -- A gynaecologist decided that he needed a career change. He'd always enjoyed tinkering with engines so thought he'd become a mechanic. He went along to mechanics school and the final test was to strip the engine completely and reassemble it - obviously back into perfect working order. He was assessed and achieved an impossible 150%. He quickly phoned the instructor and queried the mark. The instructor said: "No, no that's right. First I gave you 50% for stripping down the engine - - a very thorough job. Next I gave you 50% for reassembling it - a fantastic job really, and then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe and silencer" A woman and her son were taking a cab in London. They travelled through a red light district and the little boy asked “Mummy, what are all those women doing, standing about on the pavement?” “They are waiting for their husbands to finish work” she replied. The cab driver turned around and said, "Why don't you tell him the truth? They go with men for money." The little boy's eyes widened and he said, "Is that true, mommy?" His mother, glaring at the cab driver, answered in the affirmative. After a few minutes, the child asked, "Mummy what happens to the babies those ladies have?" "Most of them become cab drivers," she replied. Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the bride, ever. A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought exactly the same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ''Absolutely not! I look beautiful in this dress, and I'm wearing it,'' she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.'' A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear......I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.'' Best wishes to you all Ian Nisbet