WHAT DOES THE DOCTOR THINK THIS MONTH

What a new look to general practice! Deannie and I are very fortunate having found a local practice which is much like the one we left behind at Feltwell. A relatively small building with a few doctors and ancillary staff. Our new practice, however, is one of a large group of practices “owned” by a third party, such as an insurance company. So far, the practice has retained the personal and human touch and I hope this continues. Last week, we had cause to visit a nearby megapractice for a hearing assessment. The practice is housed in a massive old building which, throughout the 1800s and 1900s, made metal and fabricated some of the very first steam engines to run in the Midlands. The old brick shell of the building has been retained, with massive steel girders in the roof and all the original windows with leaded glass and semicircular tops incorporated. Fascinating history and an interesting conversion. They have inserted a massive upper floor throughout the entire building and, all around the edge of this floor, are cubicles, each about the size of half a lorry container, most of which incorporate one of the old windows. This set up provides 30 consulting rooms (yes, thirty) and the practice has 11 GP partners and another 6 regular Gps. The other 13 rooms are occupied by nurses, and most of the downstairs is given over to the secretariat. When a patient came out of a room, the GP could be seen, looking forlorn and lonely in his/her box, and I could not help thinking how I would have disliked working in such a superb but isolating building. I shall let you know ore as time goes on. There are five doctors living in neighbouring houses. One is an anaesthetist working 50 miles away who fell asleep and hit a lorry. Another is a GP who seems to work in different practices as needed and I shall talk to her about the megapractice. We went to see Tom Jones last night. I went under sufferance because Charlotte had forgotten a parents' evening, but I have to admit to thoroughly enjoying myself .Tom was performing a live outdoor concert at Ragley Hall and we all sat on our deckchairs and paid for ice creams with gold bars. The tradition seemed to be for everyone (except me) to stand up and jiggle when a popular song such as Sex Bomb was sung and I shall long carry the memory of hundreds of very well fed ladies bopping around. One particularly vigorous lady held her 'phone out to video Tom's performance, little realising that her 'phone camera was swinging bak and forth in a 45 degree arc and the resulting video would be unwatchable without the aid of medication for travel sickness. Deannie and I visited Ikea again today. It is only 20 minutes away and the triick is to arrive early and have a full English (£2.45}before shopping and a full lunch (about £4) before returning home. We bought several bookcases which, when I put them together, were two inches too wide for the room and I had to re-jig the project. It's all OK now. A police patrol car was parked outside a pub at closing time. They noticed a man leaving the pub so apparently intoxicated that he could not walk.He stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, eventually found his car and took several minutes finding the door lock with his key. He then sat in his car for a few minutes while most of the other cars left the car park. He started the engine, honked his horn, switched his hazard lights on and off a few times and then, after all the other cars had left, he inched out on to the road, straight into the arms of the waiting police who breathalysed him. To their utter amazement, the test was negative and they told him that the machine must be wrong so they would take him to the police station. The driver told them not to bother as “Tonight, I am the designated decoy”. A rich man decided to holiday in India and took his dog along for company. The dog chased butterflies and got lost. He noticed a tiger approaching menacingly so he turned his back to the tiger and sat down beside a pile of bones, munching on one and saying “Ah, that was a delicious tiger. I wonder if there are any more around here”.A monkey witnessed the scenario and told the tiger how he had been fooled. The tiger was furious and told the monkey to jump on his back while he went off to “sort out” the dog. The dog noticed the duo approaching and realised he was in big trouble. He sat down with his back to the tiger and, as they approached, he said “Where has that monkey gone? I sent him off over an hour ago to get me another tiger. Shortly after this he turned around and realised that he was alone. Best wishes to you all Ian Nisbet